Three posts in one day!

So i've decided against going to the doctors. I already know that the majority of my bad thoughts and feelings come from how i eat. So for now, i am going to plan my meals the night before. My only problem is, is that i'm racked with guilt if i go over a 1000 calories. And if i go under 500 calories i am guaranteed to binge later that night or the next morning. I'm tired of not being in control of my own thoughts. And i'm exhausted from the effort it takes to resist certain foods. If this doesn't work then i will definitely be going to the doctors.

My plan for tomorrow is:

B - Cornflakes with Almond Milk ~ 130 cals

L - Homemade vegetarian chilli, weight watchers tortilla, side sald ~ 250 cals

D - Vegan sausage, broccoli, runner beans, yorkshire pudding, onion gravy ~ 300 cals

Snacks - Apple ~ 70 cals

           - Kiwi ~ 50 cals

Total ~ 800 calories

I also always drink 1.5 liters of water a day, which keeps thirst and fake hunger at bay. But in the last week i've started doing a little bit of morning toning exercises, which consist of:

100 squats

100 sit ups

100 leg lifts on each leg

It's not much but i feel like it puts my head in the right space. Eventually i will start going out on fast walks/jogging. I'm desperately relying on this food plan to get my head back in the right place. I need to get back to the laid back person i used to be. I need to go out with friends (even if i have nothing in common with any of them), and i need to kiss a stranger, get drunk and just generally do normal 18 year old stuff.

M x