So back to it tomorrow. Maximum of 800 calories. Luckily my next 'cheat' day will be on Easter Sunday, which is goody for me! Starting to feel extremely guilty at the moment. I finished the night off with a Chinese takeaway. A portion big enough to feed two people. I'm desperately trying to keep my mind off my intake today.
It was probably a bad idea to weigh myself about 10 minutes ago. I am at a high 138lbs, and am feeling extremely disgusted in myself. Rightly so. I'm so desperate to be in control, and i like to think that i am. But i know in reality, i'm out of control. Whether i'm restricting or binging, i'm still out of control of my thoughts.
Tonight will consist of watching animated films. Why animated? Because they don't contain any beautiful actress with an amazing body. There are also animated films which i can't watch when i've binged - Beauty and the Beast, Tangled, Aladdin - Basically all the Disney princess films are off limits because i get immediately ashamed of myself and then extremely jealous of a fictional character.
Goodnight guys! M x
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