Peanut bloody Butter (long post)

My excuse? Sometimes a girl just needs Peanut Butter. Granted, that said girl doesn't need to eat two crumpets slathered with it and then eat a piece of bread again slathered, but this time sharing itself with raspberry conserve.. But the deed is done!

Now it might be the fact that i've just binged (who said vegans can't find unhealthy foods?!), but i have just walked past the mirror while holding my top up slight and i noticed a frigging muffin top. A muffin top people!! It was only minor, but a 19 year old should not have one. End of. So either i buy bigger sized jeans or i slim down. We all know it's gonna be the latter! This means i will have to stop baking my stupidly good vegan brownies, and i won't be able to scamper over to my mums to demolish the Peanut Butter. But hey, if i've managed to go three weeks without a scrap of chocolate/sweets/cake/ice cream, i imagine i can somehow stop myself from avoiding the others...

I am at a high 9st 12 (138lbs), and although i sound relatively cheery, this number makes me angry/upset/disgusted. Feelings of which make me binge, which in turn make my weight go up. Cruel circle! I know what you're thinking, "5ft 9 and weighing 9st 12? That's healthy and slim!" Maybe i have body dysmorphia?

And on another note, i've been eating seriously too much bread lately. Like half a loaf each day (with raspberry conserve)! And it's definitely affected me in a couple areas. My skin is breaking out and my uhh, bowel movements are not as they should be. So a full weeks of high fiber is in order!

This is dress that i have just for weddings (i have one specifically for funerals to..). I've hung it up on my curtain rail to constantly remind myself that i need to lose weight, if i ever want to sit down in it. God forbid if i try and do that now! Otherwise i'll have to just awkwardly stand up with my legs plastered together by the tightness of this dress.. It does give the illusion of the most amazing curves though!

I promise to post at least every other day! M x