Binged. Ate 2500 calories so far. I don't know what wrong with me. I haven't been this out of control with my eating in 6 months. Food has started controlling me and i am not okay with that. My jeans are so tight they feel like some sort of constricting snake. Binge freaking binge. My legs are actually chubby. I'm not stupid so i know i can't have the body i did when i was 15 as i'm now a bloody 'woman'. When i told my mum i want to lose weight she actually encouraged me. She used to worry when i said that and say anything to try and stop me. Where has my control gone?!
Tomorrow i am going to wake up, eat an apple and drink a pint of water. And then i'll go upstairs and watch 'A secret between friends/When friendship kills' and 'For the love of Nancy', hoping that this will essentially trigger me so i can resume my forgotten control around food.
I'm feeling extremely down and disgusting today. Some would say blimp like. Not even lying out on a blanket, in the garden while the sun shone and i read 'The Child Thief' cheered me up... Roll on teeth whitening and starting my job (which will keep my eating at bay)!
Sorry for another depressing post. I always feel like i should be chirpy but lately i'm just not.
M x
Edit: 3000 calories. Christ sake.
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