I don't know why i want to go back to the time of 126lbs. I was so unhappy back then, and i was just as miserable if not a bit more, about my weight as well. But i feel like my life has taken a turn for the worse, and so i need to be back to 126lbs. But i just can't stop binging. At least back then i had a dieting buddy. Someone i could share my problems with. I miss that.
On Monday i might fast for a few days. I'm so miserable and so lonely. I want a friend who i can talk about with all my food and body thoughts.
Edit:- I just calculated my "ideal weight" in this online calculator thing. Now i knwo these things are more often than not, crap. But telling me ideal weight as a 5'9 woman is 152, but at least ranging between 135 and 168, is utter bullshit. I'm 140lbs now and i look chubby. God can only imagine what i would look like in the 160's...
On another note, i've decided to just eat as little as possible. But not counting calories. Therefore i won't freak out and binge if i go over my allotted amount of calories.
Mx
I miss having someone to talk to. My friends just say aww there's nothing wrong with you, beauty is in the inside... But I want someone to vent to when I feel a binge coming on, someone to talk me out of it!
ReplyDeleteI know I'm at the highest end of my ideal weight but I know in myself I'm not healthy and I know I would look so much better if I lost 20+lbs. I'm here if you wanna talk <3 xxx