So it's Christmas eve, and while most people are now with either their friends or family, i am just sat at my desk writing this. My dad - who doesn't celebrate Christmas - is downstairs totally oblivious to just how lonely and sad i am. My mum, step dad, brother and brothers girlfriend have probably just come back from the traditional Christmas outing to an old fashioned English village which is stunningly beautiful.
My mum rang me today, asking if i wanted to go but i refused. The audacity of that woman! She just expects everything to be forgotten. Well tough. That doesn't happen. People can't just move on from some things. All i want to do is talk things over, but nope. She just wants to "forget", whilst not actually forgetting, just letting all the bad feelings fester under the surface until one day, they'll come exploding out.
So i'm sat here still feeling numb, betrayed, and totally forgotten about like the other day. And i'll more than likely be waking up late tomorrow, and remembering how i'm feeling once more. My first Christmas where i will be well and truly alone and devoid of Christmas cheer.
But to everyone else, Merry Christmas!! I hope you all truly enjoy yourselves! And i hope you get everything you have been wanting, whether that's presents or family! xx
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